Monday, June 22, 2015

Monday Evening Post

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Right Now:

I have 2 kids home with me all week.  Just 2!  The last 2, to be exact.  Emily and Molly are away at camp for the week.  They took the ferry to Juneau for a week long camp filled with hiking, horse back riding, zip lining, and whatever else kids do at summer camp.

 I never went to summer camp...summer camp was for the rich and powerful when I was young.  We were not rich..or powerful.  Either are Pete and I...this is a Christian camp that is run mostly by year long donors.  It was 250$ each for a one week camp...all meals and activities included.  Maybe I am crazy..but that just feels like a good deal to me.  Either that, or we are rich and powerful...


And the other 2 are with Pete on a 2 week adventure.  I would like to say I handled being left here with grace...but that would be NOT THE TRUTH...I kinda did not handle it well.  And it may have taken me a few days to get over it...and an order of yarn...but now I am fine and actually enjoying being a mom to 2 kids and getting lots of things done.  Because I have to admit...being a mom of just 2 kids is WAY easier than a mom to 6...

Boring..but easier...

What else??  I cleaned out my closet to the bare minimum...and it feels so good.  I could really go crazy and share all the very deep thinking that I did over that purge but you all have thought the same things...how when closets are a mess it may be a reflection of other areas of life that are a mess...and when you make it more simple it is easier to manage..so is your life.  Not having that many choices is actually giving yourself way more freedom to choose...all the usual deep thinking that comes from getting rid of stuff you never needed in the first place.

Lots more is happening....but I never have my camera with me these days so I feel like it never happened....

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

The Thing About Instagram

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Instagram envy...it is a real thing.  I think for visual people like myself the envy feels sneaky...Your not looking for envy...your just looking for beauty.  I love seeing beautiful pictures...I love having hope and vision from others perspective....but then suddenly you click off your phone, walk away and feel..MAD...

What??  Where did that come from??  I realize that every moment of someones life is not sharable...or beautiful.  But I do like the concept of focusing on the positive...looking at beauty as something to be admired just because it is beautiful...even if I have nothing to do with it.

But my own darn human nature means there is only so much of someone else's beauty I can handle.  That does not mean that I want to hear or see their NOT beautiful moments.  It just means that I am humble enough to know my own weakness and I stay away from it.

And then there is the "hurt" factor..I can see people liking other peoples moments..but not mine...which makes me think..."wow, so and so did not "like" this moment...maybe it was not that great, or beautiful..."

What...why all of a sudden am I quantifying my moments according to others??

It is all a jumble of good, bad and ugly when it comes to social anything...be it media or personal.  But mostly I find that it makes me work hard on me..my own faults, my own pride and my humility.

And dare I forget that truly what matters is the people I most deeply effect "like" all our beautiful moments!! ....even if I don't post them for the world to see...


Monday, June 15, 2015

I LIVE HERE

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Sorry I have not been back for awhile...I was really busy feeling sorry for myself.  That has taken up a lot of June so far, and if  I'm honest I think it took over the end of May too...I realize we are halfway through June.  I think I am all done.  I hope I am.  This little slump took FOREVER to get over.

I am not sure what brought it on...I could list what I think it was..

.fear of what will happen next year when we are going to be moving to WHO KNOWS WHERE, wanting that to happen sooner some days and never other days (super logical),

..... a very close friend leaving

..... a teenager whom I adore and hope she will one day adore me again,

....... being left behind on a trip Pete had to go on and we did not plan on me going but then when he was leaving I FELL APART about not going (again...super logical)

......fear of a summer full of rain and kids....

But last night right before going to mass I decided I was done..this is silly.  And for whatever reason, at that moment, it worked,

....who cares where we are going...we will all be together...

.....I made a close friend here and it will happen again...

....my teenager does love me..duhh

.....I did not need to go on this trip, this time.  We have a bigger picture..I just forgot that for a few days (even after he reminded me)

.... I get my kids..no sharing with school and the rain will be here NO MATTER WHAT!!!

And look at these pictures...this is where I live.  After dinner, on a sunny night I get to go on a boat ride with a guy I have been married to for 19 years...who I still adore ...with children that adore us both.  I get that...why waste my time...

Monday, June 1, 2015

Ginny's Shawls

Last weekend I got super excited while looking at Instagram.  I have been on Insta for a while but recently found what a great source of inspiration Insta can really be in regards to knitting....and as always Ginny is a big part of that inspiration.  She posts the most beautiful pictures that makes me want to drop everything and knit among goats and wildflowers.

Ginny put out a call for shawls for her to raffle to raise money for women and children of Iraq.  I knew instantly the shawl I would donate.

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Last summer when Ginny's friend Sarah died I was knitting the Onward shawl from Shannon Cook.  I decided I would send the shawl to Ginny when I finished it.  It did take me awhile to finish and I will sadly admit to NEVER sending it to her.  I have drawers full of good intentions...

But in my mind, that shawl was hers so I knew I would gladly give it to whatever cause she wanted.  I knit this shawl thinking about Ginny and Sarah while I sat on many a rocky beach last summer here in Sitka, Alaska praying for them both.  I love that shawl.  I love those women.


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If you have never had a hand knit item let me tell you how special it can feel.  There is a difference in the way you carry yourself when you are wrapped in something so personal...and with knitting you are part of so many stories....let me explain...

The pattern:  Shannon Cook is a mom in BC and she wrote a book with her friend Jane.  I bought the book and had to knit this shawl.

The Yarn:  Quince and Co...a fiber mill using all products from the US run by amazing knitters that have brought so much to the cottage yarn industry.  You get to love these company's like they are your friend. I had to have the exact yarn that the pattern was written for.

The Knitter:  Me...a mom who learned to knit after seeing Ginny's knits on her blog, wanting to do a little something in my  free time while I was growing my family and finding the person I wanted to be.  Lots of projects later I still consider myself a new knitter since I have rarely not searched for "easy" projects to complete.

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And now you...doing something to help someone REALLY far away...

Cool story....True story....

Go to Ginny's blog and see all the shawls that you can own...Have fun and guess which one I am bidding on???

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

My "quilt"

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It has not rained at all in the month of May...that has been AMAZING!!  Life with no rain feels so very easy.  People playing outside, things to do on the weekend, not being wet, all make for a happy mama with a little extra pep in her step.

And energy abounds when the sun is shining.  Last week I dug out a "quilt" from last summer and decided to finish it.  I love bringing these "quilts" to the beach with us and this summer required a new one.  I bought the fabric and started this "quilt" last summer...but lost steam with it.  I have not done much sewing this school year, but all of a sudden I needed to finish this guy..and I did.

Now I pretty much carry it with me wherever I go, asking people to not block my view of it..and please do not actually sit on it unless you are CLEAN...which is NEVER...I take pictures of it every day and just generally LOVE it.

I put the word "quilt" in quotations ...because I feel really bad insulting quilters by calling this a quilt. I buy fabric, cut it up, sew it back together, make a quilt sandwich (batting in the middle), sew lines that are no where near straight all over the sewn fabric, fold over the sides and sew a fake binding.  I then get overly excited and treat it like a family heirloom, and just generally LOVE it to death.  I feel like it is a bit more than a blanket so I do call it a quilt.

I need a new quilt to work on, but I have 2 knitting projects I want to knit and that will be where my extra dollars go right now...but I am going to start looking.

I have found Instagram to be a great source of inspiration for knitting projects.  I have fallen down many an Instagram rabbit hole involving knitting...and I think I may try that for sewing.  It is very motivating.  But I know I struggle with the all or nothing mind set...so I do tread carefully when I feel swept up by all the things I want to do.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

I Want To Remember:

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This passed weekend was a big one for my oldest son. There is a fine line between sharing and bragging and I am very sensitive to that. Especially because I know that in this house NOBODY is perfect...even if the picture makes it look so.

But I do need to document things and this has been the place where the visual meets the actual in some cases...

And I want to remember these days ...for this boy.

May 16, 2015 Jack and I did a mini triathlon together.  After he insisted on entering the event I was excited to do this with him.  It was his birthday weekend and I knew it would be fun for him and I to do together.  He is VERY much a daddy's guy...Pete is his world and he is fine with filling it with all things dad...so I thought this may be a chance to visit that world with him.

We ran together , and biked together as he competed as the youngest in the competition.  He did this...all on his own.  Each event he was tired and hesitant to go on, but he did!! I did not do the swim portion with him.  I would like to say that I opted out of that so I could cheer him on and coach him through 20 laps...but it was really about my hair.  I was not willing to get my hair in that pool...

He finished in 53 minutes and I was exploding with pride and tears. He has not even realized the fact that he has inspired many people by his accomplishment.  His siblings and some of his buddies want to compete next year..and you can assured that he inspired me..as always.

And then the best moment of all...his first Holy Communion.  The joy and excitement of their first Eucharist is so amazingly wonderful that I can never explain how happy it makes me.  He was more than ready..and I can't imagine the grace our Lord has for this boy.  His face and heart were glowing with excitement and now he feels like he is a real Catholic boy.

My mom and I decorated the church hall for a party after and made a ton of food.  The whole event was very Pinterest worthy...but I never took more than 1 instagram shot...oh well...it's better to live it then share it sometimes.

And then Jack turned 9 the next day.  Spending the day making him feel special was a great way to end his 8th year of life and begin his very 1st day as a boy who has the grace of the Eucharist....

My parents were here..and now they are gone ...and that is always hard.

Monday, May 18, 2015

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